brainstorm

ever crossed your mind the fact that maybe you see me the way you want to see me? what if i'm not like that? i mean, like you think i am. i know i'm not ambitious. in fact, i want to be like you. i want to be able to be in another country with no help, just being there by myself. i don't mean without fears. of course everybody has fears and is afraid to do what they want. i mean getting over your fears and leaving them behind you, without turning your head back. i want to be ambitious. i want to want to travel, to know other places, to grow interested in other cultures, to be in New Zealand and to be mature. to be able to discuss with people without falling in the most profound boredom. to be excited about new people, to meet people. not to be afraid of men, to tease them, to look them straigh in the eye. i want to believe in people and in dreams. to stop being dry and sarcastic. to stop feeling this inmotivation i drag everywhere i go with me. i'd like, just for once, to stop being so deadpan, so irrational and to be moved by something else than byron and ibsen. no, you're definitely mistaken about me. and i'd like to tell you just before you come to that point where is no return; where i'll disappoint you greatly and nothing can't be done to fix it. and i won't be able to do anything to rise to the ocasion. and then, we'll both know we'll have missed an opportunity.