Ta-Dah!

I want to know about your last note in Facebook. Yeah, THAT. Right. Ok, what was THAT? Are you going to tell me? Is she true? Is this your real intention -I mean, then, why on earth would you go on with me to Camden last Saturday? Is this a common way of behaviour in Brazil or something? I don't know... Ok, I won't pretend I'm not offended. I'm too rough for that. Yes, I'm offended. And yes, I want to work it out. Oh, and by the way, no, I'm not the one who's going to take the first step to mend that. But i still don't get it. I mean, open relationship? Then, what? So on, and on, and on, till you come back. I'm not believing this. Actually, yesterday I asked you about that. And now you come up with all this bullshit.. I don't get your intentions. Hope you're going to explain this to me, 'cause, quite frankly, I don't get it at all. So I would appreciate some explanations from your side... You see, Anna was right. She told me to post you some kind of "Congrats!", something like that. It would be a piece of advice. An awareness. But I think that's not my style, so, I'll just wait till.. I don't know. But I'm not answering you any more text messages, so don't even try to make the effort. That's what I'm going to do. Sit and wait. How the story gets on. Kind of funy, actually. See, I would never have expected this from you... I mean, weren't you supposed to be interested about me? And just right now, after my first important text message, after saying something really deep, you go and fuck it all. Well, that's nice, I guess.
Unbelievable. Please, if your message is some kind of "i'm no longer interested in it" you could have been more serious. Or at least have told me straight away we're not getting to the same point together. Were'nt my intentions fully clear? I apologize if I've been pretending I was too cold. Sorry about it, but it's the way I behave when things start to drive me crazy, to freak me out. That's my response to closer attachement. I try to give no signs, pretending to control the situation. I always get caught by it, I usually end up entangled. I know, it's always been the same story, but that's my stuff. My God, I cannot believe this. I'm going crazy. I need an answer. And if it is what I'm figuring out, I'll probably end up with a huge amount of daily valeriana, therapy twice a week and a little depression. Ta-dah! Surprise! Yes, that's what is wrong with me. You nevere really asked, so I suppose it's normal if you go like "OMG!" afterwards. I always had communicating problems, I am a kind of... -let's put it plainly - social uncapable and unskilled person. Never had a normal relationship with someone else becouse of my instability, my insecurity and my problematic fears. claustrophobia and aracnophobia are only the top of the iceberg... it grows huge, enormous, under the greasy, oily surface.