I'm struggling between the idea of blending myself with all that people and the idea of me-myself alone, in the vast sea & tide of society coming forwards and backwards instictively, unstoppably. I feel comfortable being a single individual in a society knowing I've detached myself from all any possible plural life or nightlife. I've cutted any relationships with anyone. I hardly ever propose any plan to the ones left here, with me. I never discuss with them for the plans. I can spend lots of hours in home without being annoyed, it's all right with me. I'm used to that loneliness. I don't feel the raving for going out. Not at all. Dancing? Meeting people? Forget me, it's too much work for me to take the trouble to do the effort. And that's how am I spending my days, one after the other. On the other hand, if I want to know some specific people, I'll join certain societies & clubs. But I won't trouble myself taking the effort of "making friends", being the first to talk, introducing myself to my classmates & companions. I'm sorry, but no, thank you.
And now, tell me mum, am I missing the opportunity of my being here? Do you think my sociability HAS, MUST be improved for my being here or it is not that important? Thought it must be said that it is not entirely MY fault. English people are so hard and difficult to meet. They close themselves up to part-time staying students. They would only address international students if they would stay here from the beginning of the degree to the end. Am I more forgivable then? This is what truly interests me: Would yyou think I'm wasting my time for not blending up? Would you blame me of that? Mother?
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